Gay Catholics/ Christians

Gay Priest Fr Gary Meiers, In His Own Words

I’ve already written about Fr Gary Meiers, a Catholic priest who has just republished his book, ”Hidden Voices: Reflections of a Gay, Catholic Priest“, no longer anonymously but under his own name - thereby coming out about as publicly as it is possible for anyone to do.

After placing a short post that did little more than report the fact of the publication, I wrote a much longer reflection on the importance and value of his action. There’s no need to repeat those thoughts, again.  However, since writing that post, I’ve come across two useful pieces, in which Fr Meiers speaks directly on his motivation, experience and reflections on the process he is going through, which I would like to share.

It all began with a seemingly innocuous facebook post:on May 15th, just under two weeks ago:

On May 23, 2013, I will be celebrating my 15 year anniversary to the priesthood as a catholic priest for the Archdiocese of Saint Louis, MO. On the eve of this anniversary, I have released the 2nd edition of my book “Hidden Voices, Reflections of a Gay, Catholic Priest” which was originally published anonymously in 2011. The second edition is now available, and has one main difference — it is no longer anonymous. The decision to release the book under my name was not an easy one to make but one I felt was necessary.

It has been difficult to remain part of a hierarchy that has been so hostile towards homosexuals in recent years. This is especially true considering nearly 30% of all successful teenage suicides are attributed to sexual identity issues. Our church once stood for and represented the radical nature of God’s love for all people. That is not the true today — especially towards the LGBT community and therefore I feel compelled to stand in solidarity with those Catholic’s who have lost their jobs, have been denied the sacraments, have been excommunicated or who have been made to feel “less than” by their church leaders because of who they love.

As Fr Meier later described at Huffington Post (Fr. Gary M. Meier: Why I Decided To Come Out As A Gay Priest), the response was immediate, strong and immensely supportive: After posting the statement on Facebook, I sat back and to monitor the response.

Wow. Within seconds, people began to respond. Within hours I had received nearly 100 likes, comments, emails, texts and phone calls combined — and it hasn’t stopped. The local media asked for interviews and comments, which I was happy to give. It has been a frenzy of activity since. I have been overwhelmed by the amount of communications I have received from people everywhere and it has been unbelievably supportive.

 

Crazy! Who knew? Is this really a story? Do people really care? Why is it, that in a society that continues to move toward tolerance and acceptance of homosexuals, anyone would be interested in my “coming out”? And then I remember: Oh yeah, I’m a priest. A Catholic priest — and everyone knows, Catholics are anti-gay, right?

 

   

 

There’s an important lesson in this: the intensity of the reaction vividly illustrates the depth of the need among LGBT Catholics, for material and role models that will counter the perceptions (and reality) of hostility from the institutional Catholic Church.

But that didn’t end it. Just as the original facebook post drew rapid reaction, so did his reflection at Huffpost, as he later described in an interview with Frank DeBenardo at Bondings 2.0. Read more after the fold: script type=”text/javascript”>//

What has been the biggest surprise or most unexpected thing to happen to you since making your announcement?

The fact that this story is viral on the Huffington Post has surprised me.  But to me, that simply affirms that because our church is unwilling to have a discussion about this topic, when someone starts a conversation, people want to be heard.  The other surprise has been some of the emails I’ve gotten.  The atmosphere of silence and shame that our church has created regarding homosexuality is bigger than I thought and the pain we have caused is real.

DBenardo’s interview includes a link to Fr Meiers own webpage, where I found his email address ([email protected] ) , and sent him a personal note earlier this morning. When asked how lay Catholics could help their gay priests, this was the response:

What can lay people do to help more gay priests come out of the closet?

Let them know they are loved and supported.  It has been truly a blessing to have had so many lay people I’ve ministered to in the past 15 years be so incredibly supportive.  We don’t have to make this journey alone.  There are lots of people who will support us and stand with us.

I encourage my readers also to write to him, offering that “love and support”. He’s going to need it. Later in the interview, he notes that the church would change dramatically if every gay priest were to come out: but that is unlikely. There are serious risks - especially if simply coming out is followed by direct LGBT advocacy, which would be the logical and honest next step:

How do you think our church would change if more gay priests came out? How do you think your personal ministry will change?

The church will dramatically change if every gay priest came out.  But I’ve also come to understand that coming out as ‘gay’ is one thing.  Coming out as gay and pro-gay is another.  While I don’t know where my personal ministry is going to take me, I do know that advocacy for the LGBT community will be part of it.

So - write to Fr Meiers (and to other gay priests), to express that love and support of which he speaks. This is what I wrote, earlier:

********

Good morning,Fr Gary.
I’ve just been reading your interview with Frank DeBenardo, at Bondings 2.0. Allow me to add my hearfelt thanks and congratulations on your courage in coming out.
I’ve been writing about gay Catholics at “Queering the Church” since late 2009, thinking originally only of laypeople. It didn’t take me long though to discover from the response that there were also many priests among my readers, with needs far more acute than ours. From my opening post, I have always encouraged our people to come out in their local church communities, as in the secular world, as far but no further, than they realistically are able to do. The same applies to our priests - with particular emphasis on the qualification: “… but no further, than they realistically are able to ”  - and that includes with regard to their emotional and psychological as well as material and social circumstances.
That you have been able to come as far as you have, is a notable achievement, which the accompanying publicity making it all the more valuable. Responding to Frank’s question, “ What can lay people do to help …”, you replied, “Let them know they are loved and supported”. That is precisely the response I suggested to my readers when I wrote about your story (and more briefly earlier, here) - and I am grateful that now that I have your contact details, I have the opportunity to offer you that love and support directly. I am pleased (but not surprised) that the messages you have received have been so overwhelmingly positive. Most headlines about gay people in the church deal with the scandals of people who are given a hard time - of lesbian moms forced to remove their kids from a church school, or of teachers and church organists losing their jobs, or asked to withdraw from active parish ministry. But these stories make the news precisely because they are so rare. The vast majority of Catholics are in fact far more supportive, caring and welcoming than the institutional church - but the welcome they receive is ignored, because it is not newsworthy. Because it is not reported, too many people remain outside the church, or attend in mufti, afraid to step out of the closet at church, even though they may be fully out in other areas of their lives. This is why coming out is so crucially important - especially for priests, who can be such visible role models.
However.
As you note, there’s a second level of coming out. My sense is that many bishops can offer a degree of support and understanding to priests who come out - and do no more. But when that coming out personally extends to offering direct support to the gay Catholic community, with its implied or explicit criticisms of Church doctrine and praxis, then the dangers increase substantially. Then it becomes more difficult, when you will have even greater need of that love and support.
Please know that you have mine.
Terence Weldon



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