When Fr James Martin SJ posed the question “What is a gay Catholic to do?” at America blog, he offered no answers. When I repeated the question here (and also at the Daily Kos, where I cross-posted the piece), I listed some possible strategies – but I put these in generalities, rather than specifics. However, many of the gay men and lesbians who responded by comments at America, here, and at Kos, have shared some extracts of their personal stories. These vary in tone – from relief at having left the Catholic church, to some who have found some form of uneasy tension within the church, to some who remain deep in anguish at having not yet fond any resolution. Collectively, and one in particular, left me painfully aware of a phrase used by James Alison, “A Heart Close to Breaking.”
James Alison has more reason than most for anger: as a Dominican priest and academic theologian, he was forced out of the priesthood and his livelihood simply for his honesty, speaking openly about the challenges of gay men in the priesthood. He was thrown out into the world bereft of home, family, or livelihood. He has since made a new life as an important independent theologian and writer, with three important books suggesting ways for us to find a “Faith Beyond Resentment” (the title of the first book in the set). He has a great deal of sage and helpful advice in these books, some of which I hope to discuss with you over the next week. Essentially, Alison offers the hope the hope and reassurance that it is possible to move beyond the heart close to breaking, mostly by adopting an attitude of Ignatian indifference to the institutional church, and by getting to know God, the God of “delight”.
Before expanding this theme with Alison, though, I think it is important for us to hear the voices of heartbreak. I have been collecting the stories, anecdotes and links posted in the three comment threads (America, QTC and Daily Kos). In some cases, I have reprinted the full text of these, in others I have provided links to the writers own blogsites .These have all been published already, but for simplicity I list only the first names here, and have made no attempt to edit or comment.
Christians often exalt and pray for the gift of tongues. Here, I ask you instead to pray for the gift of ears, as you listen carefully and hear the voices of these hearts.
My story:
This has been up for a long time now, and I do not want to make an issue of it this time around. For completeness though, and for any readers who have not yet seen it, read My Journey in Faith
Jeremiah’s Story.
Jeremiah writes at Gospel for Gays, mostly on Gospel reflections. He shares my belief though, in the importance of sharing our stories. Read his at Gospel for Gays.
Jayden’s story
Jayden writes at the Gay Mystic, offering wonderful insights into the spiritual lessons we can gain from cross-cultural mystical traditions.
Bill’s Story
Bill writes at Bilgrimage, and was a major contributor to the discussion in Fr Martin’s comment thread (where I found the extract I use here). Read more at
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Writes at Reluctant Rebel, where he specifies that copyright is reserved. Go to to read his story in full.
Eric’s story
Eric writes at , but that is not where I found his story, and that only something from the recent past. The earlier story he placed in a comment thread here. After “shaking the dust from the sandals,” he joined the MCC. It was a tape he heard at an MCC gathering that led him to a profoundly spiritual experience in sex, that he wrote about at Jesus in Love Blog.
Alix’s story
Alix writes at , and has become a regular visitor to my comments thread since I last wrote about Fr Martin’s question. Since then, she has written up her story in full. Read it at
James Alison:
McGinley, Dugan: Acts of Faith, Acts of Love: Gay Catholic Autobiographies as Sacred Texts
Ford, Michael: Disclosures: Conversations Gay and Spiritual
Glaser, Chris: Uncommon Calling
Lynch, Bernard: A Priest on Trial
McNeill, John: Both Feet Firmly Planted in Midair
