marriage & family

Multi-faith Perspectives on the Grace of Gay Marriage

The debate over marriage equality should never be reduced (as the opponents would like) to a simplistic opposition of Christianity (or faith, more broadly) against gay rights. There are secular arguments in favour of gay marriage – and secular arguments against. (Not the least important of these is recognition that historically, marriage has been deeply flawed as a patriarchal institution rooted in fundamental inequality, which needs to be replaced with new, more just patterns of human relationships). There are familiar religious arguments against – and also, many important religious arguments in favour.

In a superb collection of posts, all published on the same day (June 22nd), Huffington Post has assembled a series of multi-faith perspectives on the spiritual gifts of gay marriage, all contributed by gay or lesbian pastors from a range of religious traditions. They are:

  • Rev. Malcolm Boyd, Episcopal priest and poet/writer in residence, Los ,Angeles Cathedral of St Paul
  • Rev. Candace Chellew-Hodge,  founder of Whosoever www.whosoever.org online magazine for GLBT Christians, and ordained pastor.
  • Rev. Patrick S. Cheng,  theologian, seminary professor, and ordained minister with the Metropolitan Community Church.
  • Bishop Yvette Flunder,  senior pastor of City of Refuge United Church of Christ in San Francisco
  • Rt. Rev. Mary Douglas Glasspool
  • The Rev. Emily C. Heath, ordained minister in the United Church of Christ (UCC)
  • Rabbi Andrea Myers, author and a member of the New York Board of Rabbis
  • Dr. Emilie M. Townes, an American Baptist clergywoman, and Professor of African American Religion and Theology
  • Larry Yang, teacher of Buddhist meditation

I’m not going to even try to summarize the points of view (read them for yourselves, all of them, or pick and choose the faith traditions that interest you). But I will share here the links, and opening statements.

Religion and Gay Marriage: What Marriage Means to Me

I am married to Mark Thompson, another gay man. We have been together 27 years. In order to speak of this with any depth or integrity, however, I find it necessary to look back and relate the past to the present. The past? It must include years of pain and deprivation when we were considered outsiders in the prevalent culture, persons somehow mentally and emotionally defective, enemies of prevailing society, spiritually notorious sinners, and shadowy figures threatening humanity by our very existence.

 

Religion and Gay Marriage: A Seal Upon My Heart

Candace Chellew-Hodge

“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death, passion fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If one offered for love all the wealth of one’s house, it would be utterly scorned.” — Song of Solomon 8: 6-7

“I, Candace, now take you, Wanda, to be my Life Partner, to laugh with you in joy, to grieve with you in sorrow, to grow with you in love, to be faithful to you alone, as long as we both shall live. And now, to you and to God, I make this solemn vow and promise.”

The Amazing Grace Of Same-Sex Marriage

(Rev. Patrick S. Cheng)

Michael and I have experienced a healthy dose of grace in our relationship over the last two decades. First of all, falling in love itself is an act of grace. Love — whether same-sex or opposite-sex — is a manifestation of God’s amazing grace precisely because it cannot be planned or earned. Love is not just a matter of works, but rather of grace.

Religion and Gay Marriage ( Bishop Yvette Flunder)

Volumes have been written about heterosexual marriage while very little has been written supporting the development of strong stable faith-filled Same Gender Loving (SGL) couples and families. The family, straight or SGL, is an integral part of the faith community. Defining relationships and family for SGL people is a struggle in itself; however the stability of these relationships is foundational to the stability of the community.

Marriage Equality Through A Sacramental Lens

(Bishop Mary Glasspool)

One of the things I love about the Episcopal Church, in which I am privileged to serve, is the Church’s use of sacraments in its rich, liturgical life. As a child growing up in the Episcopal Church, I had to memorize the definition of a sacrament: A sacrament is an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace, given by Christ as a sure and certain means by which we receive that grace. So in the sacrament of Baptism, the outward and visible sign was water, and the inward and spiritual grace was the baptized being grafted and incorporated into Christ’s Body, the Church. In the sacrament of Holy Communion or the Eucharist, the outward and visible signs were the bread and wine and water, the inward and spiritual grace was being spiritually fed and nurtured by Christ’s sacrificial giving.

The Holiness of Loving Against the Odds

The Rev. Emily C. Heath

Five months from today, I will say “I do.” I preach every Sunday and yet these will probably be the holiest words I ever say. Words forged in the soul despite the words of the world. Words that signify a commitment in an era where commitments are often ignored. Words that speak justice in the face of bias. I can’t wait to say them. I can’t wait to live a life of the everyday holy with the woman I love.

Religion and Gay Marriage: Unpacking the Ketubah

Rabbi Andrea Myers

My family and I just moved to Montreal. In contrast with the United States, where it took my Canadian partner eight years to get a green card, for this move, she could simply sponsor me as her spouse. In “the true north strong and free,” we are getting used to calling each other “wife.” As our attorney, who resembled the mysterious lawyer Kobayashi from the movie “The Usual Suspects” stated emphatically: “Madame, you are simply too old to be called ‘Miss,’ and you are married in our country, therefore you are both ‘Mrs.’ It is important to get used to this as soon as possible.” I wanted to answer: “That’s Rabbi Mrs. to you,” but the other Rabbi Mrs. kicked me under the table to keep the proceedings going.

What Marriage Means To Me

(Dr. Emilie M. Townes)

The bottom line for me is not “gay marriage” but “marriage.” When folks, whoever they may be, find that the only word that expresses the commitment they make to one another is marriage — we should celebrate this and give them all the support we can for it is no small thing to live out vows that are marked by “forever.”

 

Gay Marriage and the Buddha’s Path to Spiritual Freedom

(Dr Larry Yang)

When asked to write something on same-sex marriage and Buddhist practice, I decided that I did not want to get into the issue of sexuality and the act of sex between people of the same sex. I decided this not because there is something to be avoided or be ashamed of (there is not a single word in any of the 20+ volumes of Buddhist scriptures which does not permit sexuality between lay people of the same sex), but because the act of sex is different than the act of marriage.

Obvious ommissions? Catholics and Muslims. There are not many examples of Catholic priests or nuns who are legally married to same – sex partners, but they do exist – and have paid a heavy price for it (Bernard Lynch and John McNeill are obvious examples). There are Muslim examples too. Neither of these groups were represented in the Huffpost series, so I will hunt down their takes, and post them separately.

(With thanks and acknowledgement to the ever useful More Light Presbyterians, where I was first alerted to the series)

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1 comment for “Multi-faith Perspectives on the Grace of Gay Marriage”

  1. Advocatus Diaboli
    June 27, 2012 at 3:55 am

    see it is precisely this type of thing that makes me feel that supporting “gay marriage” is “right”. But, being the objective and intellectual personality that I am, i struggle with the disparity between “feeling” and “thinking”. Feeling wise, I find it easy to support gay marriage, but intellectually it is like pulling steel bars through my cheeks – and I am always naturally inclined to go with my rational intellect than I am with an emotional urge. 

    Also, I am curious that the word “grace” was used in the way it was. Christian “Grace” is something that comes from God, and a human may only obtain grace if they themselves become a near perfect imitation of god (or in protestantism, “believing” gives you grace). Grace is essentially a given perfection/pardon for your sins/inclination to sin. In non-protestant Christianity, it is actually a heresy/false prophecy to say that ANY individual certainly is or is not under the grace of God until they can preform at least 3 miracles… That statement could only apply to a protestant who believes that god gives grace arbitrarily to those who are unworthy rather than objectively to those whom cultivate the proper attitude and behaviors (notice the admonishing of the role of individual action, merit, or choice that is present in the statement). In this age of ecumenism it is easy to think that “christian is christian”, but the lines between what each “denomination” stand for are VERY VERY irreconcilably different (remember, people were killing each other over these fundamental differences for hundreds of years). In religious studies, gods are often seen as personified values and concepts (or collection of values/concepts); when seen in this light, all of the different “denominations” worship very different Gods. 

    Also, I get rather annoyed when buddhists are quoted as being “ok” or “in favor” of same-sex unions. most western buddhists are very much NOT inline with any original form of buddhism, but at least this guy got it right. Notice how he says “for lay people”. It is important to understand that in buddhism LAY PEOPLE ARE NOT “SAVED” – you can only reach enlightenment through the eightfold path (as practiced in the monasteries, which were set up specifically to create environments to allow people to follow the path). Westerners fail to understand that when a buddhist allows “lay people” to do something, it means NOTHING about how that act is seen in the roll of enlightenment/salvation.  Few realize that THERE ARE NO RULES in buddhism for lay people, lay people are under no religious or moral obligation to do anything at all – that does not mean that they wont have to suffer the karmic effects of their actions but there is literally nothing that is banned for lay people in buddhism. For a buddhist to give assent for lay people to do something means absolutely nothing, because the sentiment is, to put it in christian terms, “you are already going to hell so it does not matter what you do” (except “hell” in buddhism is not permanent, and you might not end up in a hell but you will unquestionably be reborn, which is the antithesis of the aim of buddhism just like hell is the antithesis of the aim in christianity). Marriage is actually a NEGATIVE PATH in buddhism, ALL MARRIAGE – It is choosing the path of ignorance and attachment to worldly things – that is why the buddhist quote does not make a distinction between marriage and gay marraige. That is why he does not want to get into the topic of sexuality and sex between two people of the same-sex. In buddhism, there is either sex or no sex, there is not “good sex” and “bad sex”. If you have sex, you are not getting enlightened in this life time, so if you choose to have sex then it does not matter what type of sex you have. Buddhist teaching for lay people is not in anyway binding and in no way contributes to their “salvation/enlightenment”. The only thing that buddhist teaching for lay people does it to help direct them in a way that minimizes the bad karma that they create while they are living this life of ignorance and attachment so that they might be born in a position and body in the future that will better encourage them to become a monk/nun (and thus to be celibate).

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