Reflections on my route from Catholic orthodoxy to “heresy”
During my time sharing my reflections on what it is to be both openly gay and Catholic/Christian, some people have reacted in horror to my “dissent” in conscience. I have frequently been accused of heresy - even though the issues in question represent only a small portion of the whole, and while of great importance to the lives of LGBT people, in fact occupy a relatively low place in the ordered levels of Catholic teaching. Worse, I and this site have been accused of being under Satanic influence - to which the only same response is laughter.
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In fact, from my perspective, my journey in faith has been a rigorously Catholic one. After a strong Catholic upbringing, I started my adult life with a sincere attempt to live fully within every element of formal Catholic teaching. My present disagreement with selected elements of Catholic teaching is the result of what has been a long and intensely Catholic process of spiritual direction, retreat experiences, prayer and discernment, reflection on the lessons from experience, study, and discussion with others in my assorted faith communities.
The series I am developing on “How to be Catholic, Happy and Gay”, incorporating a 12-step gay/lesbian program for recovery from Catholic guilt, draws heavily on what I have learned from that journey. Some of it I have published previously, but it is now time to share some more of the detail, an a series of six posts.
Credo
Towards the end of the infamous CDF 1989 “Letter to the Bishops on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons”, there is a reminder of two important verses from scripture: “Speak the truth in love”, and “The truth shall set you free” – but one of the extraordinary features of this document is how little of it is how much of it is demonstrably untrue. Another is the patent lack of even – handedness in the treatment of love and sexual relationships between opposite – sex couples, and same – sex pairs. Here and elsewhere, Catholic documents routinely refer to marital relationships in terms of “conjugal love”, and “mutual self- giving”. Same – sex relationships, however, are dismissed as mere self-gratification, with an accompanying claim that “homosexual acts” lead one away from God.
In the real world, the experience of many people is very different. The central irony of my own life has been that an early attempt to live entirely within the limits of Catholic orthodoxy led me gradually but inexorably, away from all practice of religion. After coming to a belated acceptance of my same – sex affectional orientations, and after settling down in a long term relationship with another man, it was he who led me slowly back into the life of the Church, and to an exploration of Ignatian spirituality. Later, attempts to grapple with developing sound standards of sexual morality while also maintaining a sense of personal authenticity and integrity led me to an ever deeper investigation of many aspects of Christianity and Catholicism. My attempts to share with others the fruits of my investigations and reflections, by the blog that I run, has led me to be labelled by opponents variously as a Protestant, not a Catholic, a heretic, under Satanic influence, or (a recent promotion), the Antichrist.
Terry Weldon: Notorious heretic, tool of Satan - or just Catholic?
In the spirit of “speaking the truth, in love”, this series will share with you some snapshots of key staging posts in my Catholic journey in faith, during which I learned first, that orthodox doctrine on same – sex relationships is deeply flawed, and also learned to agree with an often – stated claim that this doctrine does not discriminate against gay men and lesbians. Indeed, it does not. It is, in fact, disordered for all. It is simply not true that love and marriage necessarily and always, “go together like a horse and carriage”.
To come:
My Faith Journey: Growing up (’50′s/’60′s)
1970’s : Marriage and fatherhood
1980′s: After marriage, Coming out
1990′s: After coming out, Return to Church
2000′s: A New Century, a new beginning.
Recommended Books
- Ford, Michael:Disclosures: Conversations Gay and Spiritual
- Gentilini, Joseph: Hounded by God: A Gay Man’s Journey to Self-Acceptance, Love, and Relationship
- McGinley, Dugan: Acts of Faith, Acts of Love: Gay Catholic Autobiographies as Sacred Texts
- Stuart, Elizabeth: Chosen: Gay Catholic Priests Tell Their Stories
Related articles
- “How to Be Happy, Catholic and Gay” (Towards a 12 - step Recovery Program)
- English Queer Catholics, Engaging With the Church
- For Gay Catholics, “12 Steps to Recovery” (From Catholic Guilt)
- “The Meaning of Sex” (Letters to the Catholic Right)
- Sharing our Stories
- Our Stories As “Sacred Texts”
- True Catholic Belief
- Heterosexual Acts, Loving Homoerotic Relationships
- John Corvino, What’s Wrong with Homosexuality?: “God Said It, I Believe It, That Settles It” (bilgrimage.blogspot.com)
- Droppings from the Catholic Birdcage:” We Are Called to Bless Any Kind of Love. He Who Doesn’t Bless, Curses. And That’s a Sin.” (bilgrimage.blogspot.com)
- Emphasizing Personal ‘Hobby Horses’ Does Differentiate One Pope From Another (enlightenedcatholicism-colkoch.blogspot.com)
- Bilgrimage: Moral Theologians, on the Need for Doctrinal Change (news.queerchurch.com)
Dear Terry,
I deeply appreciate the service you provide via your website. I strive to be a faithful Christian & Catholic, especially in my vocation as a loving father, brother & friend to my lesbian daughter, gay brother & many other LGBT family members & friends.
I do ok most of the time on my own with sincere prayer & nonjudgmental & unconditional love, but your website & blog are a new & refreshing source of ideas & perspectives for me. Thank you!
If possible I would like to correspond with you privately.
May the Lord continue to inspire you with his Spirit of truth, love & forgiveness.
Thanks for the kind words, Augustine. Feel free to write to [email protected], or by facebook message.
Good for you, However, I get sick of people hammering on “Catholic Guilt” as if it doesn’t exist anywhere else. Let me tell you as a gay Catholic, and having worked with many other denominations in my work, I can assure you that the guilt that Catholics incur is considerably less than most Protestant denominations - especially the Baptists and Calvinists. So those who love jumping on the bandwagon of anti-Catholicism, let me assure you, there are many less merciful groups than Catholics out there.
Agreed, conditions are much worse in some other denominations - but in this series, I tell what I know, from direct experience. As I will also confirm as this series continues, the reality of “Catholic guilt” is usually in the minds of people who have either not experienced full participation in a vibrant Catholic parish, or have done so only while fully closeted, terrified of the consequences of coming out. In practice, in most parishes, those consequences turn out to be positive.
We also know from research evidence, that although some bishops are prominent in their opposition to equal marriage, and the CDF documents are notorious for their disordered language, in real life, Catholics are less likely than people in other denominations to hear nasty words from the pulpit about sexuality. Most Catholic homilies are focused on the lectionary readings, and on matters central to core Catholic teaching. Sexuality, and still less same - sex sexuality, doesn’t actually feature, on either count.