Rather, the forces promoting equal marriage have included many faith groups. As a Catholic, I’ve paid particular attention to the contribution by other Catholics and Catholic groups, but others have also been prominent, especially in the mainline Protestant groups. In Minnesota, where in successive years General Assemblies of both the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ECLA) and the Presbyterian Church of the USA (PCUSA) voted to end their prohibitions on partnered lesbian and gay clergy, people from both denominations worked actively first to oppose the constitutional ban last year, and then to promote passage of the legislation to provide for equal marriage. It is widely expected that in their next General Assemblies, both will vote to accept same – sex marriage, in church. For the Lutherans and Presbyterians of Minnesota, there’s a double reason to celebrate: not only with their same – sex couples be able to enter legal marriage, but they could soon be able to do so, in church, with the full witness and support of their faith communities.

At More Light Presbyterians, which worked hard to secure the approval for gay clergy at GA 2010 and the subsequent ratification in 2011, and only narrowly failed to secure approval for equal marriage in church last year, there’s a post in celebration, aptly taking as its title ”For the World Is About to Turn“

My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great,

And my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait…

My heart shall sing of the day you bring, let the fires of your justice burn.

Wipe away all tears, for the dawn draws near, and the world is about to turn.

-Rory Cooney “The Canticle of the Turning” (Magnificat setting)

This lively Irish tune, which is included in the new Presbyterian Hymnal Glory to God, rolled around in my heart these last two weeks as those who have waited for many, many years saw the world turning toward justice for LGBTQ people in a stunning trifecta of state victories– RI, DE, and MN. A particularly strong showing of Presbyterians in Delaware (most of whom have signed our Stand for Love witness) helped turn the tide toward marriage equality only two years after a decade-long battle finally brought them a civil unions bill. Our good folks in Minnesota who organized, prayed, and advocated so passionately to fight back an anti-gay marriage constitutional amendment only six months ago would not rest until the world turned in their state.

We give thanks to God for all you Presbyterians (and partners) who have been working for justice, some for decades, some since the last General Assembly. This weekend, MLP Board Member Ralph Carter will be honored by the Empire State Pride Agenda in Rochester, NY, for his many years of work, activism, and ministry in the LGBTQ community. We celebrate Ralph and so many of our other heroes who have been faithfully sharing the love of God for all people. If you would like to send a note of congratulations, please send it to ralph@mlp.org.

via MLP News: For the World Is About to Turn.

Books

(links to Amazon.co.uk, UK)

Boswell, John: Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe (Harper-Collins, 1994)412 pages

Comstock, Gary David: Gay Theology Without Apology

Glaser, Chris: As My Own Soul: The Blessing of Same-Gender Marriage  (Seabury Books)

Heyward, Carter:   Touching Our Strength: The Erotic as Power and the Love of God

Hunt, Mary: Fierce Tenderness: Feminist Theology of Friendship (Crossroad, 1991)

Jennings, Theodore W. The Man Jesus Loved (Pilgrim Press)

Jordan, Mark:  Blessing Same-sex Unions: The Perils of Queer Romance and the Confusions of Christian Marriage(Univ of Chicago Press)

Moore, Gareth OP: A Question of Truth : Christianity & Homosexuality(Continuum Books, 2003) 

Stuart, Elisabeth: Just Good Friends: Towards a Lesbian and Gay Theology of Relationships (Mowbray, 1995)

Sullivan, Andrew: Virtually Normal: An Argument About Homosexuality(Picador, 1995)

Sullivan, Andrew: Love Undetectable: Notes on Friendship, Sex, and Survival(Chatto & Windus, 1998)

Sullivan, Andrew: Same-Sex Marriage: Pro and Con 

Vasey, M: Strangers and Friends: New Exploration of Homosexuality and the Bible

Books

(links to Amazon.com, USA)

Boswell, John: Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe (Harper-Collins, 1994) 412 pages

Glaser, Chris: As My Own Soul: The Blessing of Same-Gender Marriage (Seabury Books)

Hunt, Mary: Fierce Tenderness: A Feminist Theology of Friendship (Crossroad, 1991)

Jennings, Theodore W. The man jesus loved (Pilgrim Press)

Jordan, Mark:  Blessing Same-Sex Unions: The Perils of Queer Romance and the Confusions of Christian Marriage (Univ of Chicago Press)

Stuart, Elisabeth: Just Good Friends: Towards a Lesbian and Gay Theology of Relationships (Mowbray, 1995)

Sullivan, Andrew: Virtually Normal: An Argument About Homosexuality (Picador, 1995)

Sullivan, Andrew: Love Undetectable: Notes on Friendship, Sex, and Survival (Chatto & Windus, 1998)

Vasey, M: Strangers and friends: A new exploration of homosexuality and the Bible

Related articles

• Republicans / Conservatives in Denial on Marriage Realities.
• Purple States Supporting Marriage Equality – Include Virginia!
• How Should Christians Respond to Gay Marriage? 
• LGBT Inclusion Quandaries: Church of Scotland, Church of Ireland

• Two of the Most Inspiring Speeches from Today’s MN House Hearing and Vote on Marriage Equality (thewildreed.blogspot.com)
• Minneapolis Bridge Lit Up Like Rainbow After Marriage Equality Passes (jalopnik.com)
• Adam and Steve welcome marriage equality (jesusinlove.blogspot.com)

I’ve just seen a similar poll, with similar results, for Virginia.

A clear majority of Virginia voters now support legal same-sex marriage, a sharp reversal from a 2006 vote to amend the state constitution to define marriage as for a man and woman only. Attitudes on guns and immigration depart from positions of conservative leaders in the commonwealth.

via   The Washington Post.

As in the other polls I described, the increase in support has been rapid, going from 46% to 56% in just two years. As in the Michigan poll, the most rapid increase in support has come from – Republican respondents.

The Post does not quote comparable results from previous opinion polls, but it does give as a point of comparison, results of the 2006 Amendment 1 ballot to define marriage as only between a man and a woman. Using the “no” vote then as a proxy indicator of support for equal marriage, state wide support has gone from 43% to 56%, an increase of 13%. Among Republican voters, support has leaped up from just 15% to 40%.

This is not yet a plurality, but assuming that support continues to grow at anything like the same rate as in the recent past, it will not be long before even GOP voters will agree that the time has come for equality.

Related articles

• Republicans / Conservatives in Denial on Marriage Realities. (queeringthechurch.com)
• POLLS: Majorities In Virginia And Michigan Support Marriage Equality (thinkprogress.org.feedsportal.com)

Taking his lead from Pope John Paul II, who added to the traditional rosary the “Mysteries of Light”, Stephen Lovatt has developed a set of five meditations for a rosary specifically for gay men:

1. The healing of the Centurion’s Boy.
2. The answering of the Rich Young Ruler.
3. The raising from the dead of Lazarus.
4. The Last Supper.
5. The Kiss of Judas.

Bookended by two entirely traditional Catholic prayers, to St Michael the Archangel and the “Hail Holy Queen”, each part of this rosary meditation is accompanied by a suitable picture, as well as words form meditation.

As a taster, here are his notes for the opening meditation, the healing of the centurion’s “boy”:

The Healing of the Centurion’s boy [Mat 8: 5-13; Lk 7:1-10; Jn 4:46-54]

1. How much the officer loved his young batman. Now, the youth was near death and he was desperate. Perhaps the wonder working Rabbi would help?
2. But why should a Pharisee condescend to help a gentile and an officer of the Roman Occupation at that? Why should he heal a pagan catamite?
3. Still, the centurion would do anything for his boy, even if it risked humiliation at the hands of a Jew. Moreover, the Rabbi had a reputation for compassion as well as for miracles.
4. The God of Israel was just and kind and could not refuse a request made for the sake of love. The Centurion plucked up his courage and decided that he would ask in confidence! “Lord, my boy is paralysed, in terrible distress.”
5. Touched by the officer’s appeal, Jesus said: “Don’t be upset any more, everything will be all right. I will come and cure him.”
6. The Centurion, knowing his ritual impurity protested: “Lord, I am not worthy that you should come under my roof: but say only the word and my boy will be healed.”
7. And the Master said: “Truly, I have never met faith like this in the whole of respectable Israel. Go, your boy is healed.”
8. Now, the prayer of the Centurion is at the heart of the Roman Mass: the prayer of a gay man, whom Jesus commended as having more faith than any other He had met!
9. Jesus reaches out to the despised and unlovely, the hated and feared: because God loves all that He has made. His arms are open to heal all kinds of his creatures and gather them to His Sacred Heart.

Let us have faith that there is no unlovely part of our lives that His grace cannot touch and sanitize. . Let us only ask in confidence, knowing that He inspires, hears and answers all our prayers.

Lovatt’s interpretation is particularly appropriate for gay men rather than lesbians, but he is not the only one to have developed a rosary for our community. Another version, developed by the Metropolitan Community Church Berkeley, is suitable for both women and men. Eugene McMullan, a Catholic who was teaching a course with the MCC Berkeley, developed a set of “Relational Mysteries” which caused an uproar among conservative Catholic groups when they were described as “Queering the Rosary”. Since then, he has added Prophetic and Incarnational Mysteries, to form what he calls a Peace and Justice rosary. In a comment to my original post on the relational mysteries, McMullen described how he came to develop these, and included a useful link which I included in an update to my original post – but that link is now broken. However, Dignity San Francisco has combined all  three of these Justice and Peace mysteries of the rosary with the traditional three (Joyful, Sorrowful and Glorious) and the Luminous Mysteries, making a full complement of seven, for the seven days of the week:

SUNDAY: The Glorious Mysteries (1-5 traditional)

1. The Resurrection

2. The Ascension

3. The Descent of the Holy Spirit

4. The Assumption

5. The Coronation of Mary

6. The Wolf Lies Down with the Lamb (Isaiah 11:6)

7. Love Reigns

MONDAY: The Relational Mysteries

1. Ruth’s Pledge to Naomi (Ruth 1:16-18)

2. The Parting of David and Jonathan (I Samuel 20:35-42)

3. Esther Intercedes for Her People (Esther 4:9-5:2)

4. The Raising of Lazarus (John 11:38-44)

5. The Two Encounter Christ on the Road to Emmaus (Luke 24:13-35)

6. The Beloved Community Shares All Things in Common (Acts 2:44-45)

7. Love Reigns

TUESDAY: The Prophetic Mysteries

1. The Spirit Moves on the Face of the Deep (Genesis 1:2)

2. The Angel Appears to Hagar (Genesis 16:7-12)

3. The Parting of the Red Sea (Exodus 14:21-22)

4. Mary’s Magnificat (Luke 1:46-55)

5. Jesus’ Action in the Temple (Mark 11:15-17)

6. A New Heaven and a New Earth (Revelation 21:1)

7. Love Reigns

WEDNESDAY: The Joyful Mysteries (1-5 traditional)

1. The Annunciation

2. The Visitation

3. The Nativity

4. The Presentation

5. The Finding of Jesus in the Temple

6. Jesus Becomes a Man (Luke 2:52)

7. Love Reigns

THURSDAY: The Luminous Mysteries (1-5 traditional)

1. The Baptism of Christ in the Jordan

2. The Wedding Feast at Cana

3. The Proclamation of the Kingdom

4. The Transfiguration

5. The Institution of the Eucharist

6. The Conversion of the Ethiopian Eunuch (Acts 8:26-40)

7. Love Reigns

FRIDAY: The Sorrowful Mysteries (1-5 traditional)

1. The Agony in the Garden

2. Jesus Is Scourged

3. Jesus Is Crowned with Thorns

4. Jesus Carries His Cross

5. Jesus Is Crucified

6. Mary Magdalene Weeps in the Garden (John 20:11-18)

7. Love Reigns

SATURDAY: The Incarnation Mysteries

1. God Breathes Life into Adam (Genesis 2:7)

2. Moses’ Mother Gives Nurse (Exodus 2:7-9)

3. The Bride Opens to Her Beloved (Song of Songs 5:6)

4. The Word Becomes Flesh (John 1:14)

5. Jesus Feeds the Multitude (Mark 6:30-44)

6. Thomas Touches Jesus’ Side (John 20:24-29)

7. Love Reigns

 

The Relational Mysteries:

Fidelity—Ruth’s pledge to Naomi (Ruth 1:16-18);

Grief—The parting of David and Jonathan (I Sam 20:35-42);

Intercession—Esther intercedes for her people (Est 4:9-5:2);

Restoration—the raising of Lazarus (John 11:38-44); and

Discipleship—the two encounter Christ on the road to Emmaus (Luke 24:13-35)

- Dignity San Fransisco, Rosary

Related Posts:

The Rosary for October: Subversive, Queer.

Therese of Lisieux: An Ally in Our Gay Great War.

Queer Stations of the Cross

Gay Passion of Christ Series (Jesus in Love blog)

Gallup’s latest release of its regular, biannual polling on gay marriage shows that for the fifth consecutive reading, support equals or beats opposition. Over the past five years, a net majority of 16% opposed has transformed into a net majority of 8% in favour, a turnaround of 24%. Numerous other polls, by a wide range of polling companies, have reported similar results, with all showing either majority or plurality support (one even showed support at nearly 60%), All the trend data similarly shows rapidly increasing support. Anybody reading the news should by now be completely familiar with.

Nor is this rising support restricted to the blue states. Minnesota, site of the latest victory for marriage, has voted blue in the most recent presidential elections, but featured on every list of battleground states that could conceivably flip, and indeed elected a Republican legislature in 2010 – the only reason that the proposal to entrench discrimination in the state constitution made it onto the ballot in 2012. Minnesota is a purple state, not “deep blue”. So is Michigan, which Mitt Romney deluded himself into believing was winnable, right into the final days of his campaign. But a poll just released shows that in Michigan too, there is now clear majority support for equal marriage at 57% – and rising: “up 12.5 percentage points from last year — movement fueled largely by shifting opinions from Republicans and independents”, reports the Detroit News

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a policy question move as quickly as this one,” said Richard Czuba, president of Glengariff, a Chicago-based firm that has polled about Michigan’s attitudes on gay marriage and civil unions regularly since 2004

Support for it increased among voters who identify themselves as Republicans to 36.5 percent this year from 20 percent last year. It rose to 50.6 percent from 36 percent among independents and to 75 percent from 71 percent among Democrats over the same period, the poll found.

In March this year, polling from Ohio showed that it too, had reversed from opposition to support:

A Saperstein poll, released Sunday, showed that 54 percent of Ohioans now support a new amendment, which would repeal the state’s 2004 measure banning gay marriage and “allow two consenting adults to marry, regardless of their gender,” The Columbus Dispatch reported. Only 40 percent oppose the new proposal.

- Politico

Polling evidence from Pennsylvania has been more mixed, with two of three polls showing either majority or plurality support, and one showing a narrow plurality against – but the trend as elsewhere, moving in the direction of equality. (The one recent poll that reported results by religion found that Catholics split 50/40 in favour of gay marriage).

That’s four purple states in support. This week, a Rocky Mountain  poll reported majority support in a red state, Arizona – and by a substantial margin pf 20%:

 The poll also suggests that 55 percent of Arizonans favor allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry, while 35 percent oppose same-sex marriage and 10 percent say they are unsure. Most women, Latinos, liberals, moderates, independents, Democrats and voters younger than 55 say they supported such unions, according to the poll.

AZ central

But Republicans and social conservatives are in denial. In a fascinating snippet, the same Gallup poll quoted above reports that although most Americans now support marriage equality, most do not yet realize that this is so, believing that the country as a whole is still against. This is particularly true of Republicans and self- described conservatives: Of these, 77% and 78% respectively believe that “most Americans” are opposed to same – sex marriage.

 This will come back to hurt them, just as their dogged pursuit of marriage discrimination was one of the factors that contributed to the Democrats flipping both houses of the Minnesota state legislature last November, and then to this week’s win for marriage. In the 2012 presidential election, Romney’s team refused to believe the polling evidence, Republicans are still refusing to believe the polling evidence for rapidly rising support for equal marriage.It remains a political wedge issue – but one which now favours Democrats.

Not so, said Michigan Republican National Committeeman David Agema.

“The vast majority of people understand the family unit is the basic basis of our society,” Agema said.

“If (gay marriage) were to pass nationwide, I fear what kids would be taught in school. If it’s a government-sanctioned lifestyle, hate crimes would begin for those speaking out against it, and we would lose our freedom of speech. Then they would come to churches and take tax-exempt status away from churches that didn’t support the lifestyle. That’s what happened in other countries.”

Agema has become a lightning rod after sharing an article on Facebook recently that called homosexuality a “filthy lifestyle.” Several Republicans called for his resignation and argued he hurt the party as it strives to become more inclusive and attract younger voters.

Agema isn’t backing down. Republicans shouldn’t either, said Gary Glenn, president of the American Family Association of Michigan, a Republican primary hopeful for U.S. Senate last year. Standing firm against gay marriage could attract blacks, Hispanics and union members to the party, Glenn said.

via The Detroit News.

With enemies like that, the Democrats might say, who needs friends?

Related articles

• Majority Support for Gay Marriage – in Arizona! (news.queerchurch.com)
• Republicans Believe Only 18% Of Americans Support Gay Marriage (ontopmag.com)
• Most Americans Don’t Know Most Americans Favor Marriage Equality (queerty.com)
• Former AG Mike Cox pivots on gay marriage, says Agema’s Facebook post ‘dumb politics’ (mlive.com)
• RNC Passes Unanimous Resolution Affirming GOP Is Still Against Gay Marriage (huffingtonpost.com)
• Gallup Gay Marriage Poll Reveals Surprising Facts About LGBT Rights Supporters (huffingtonpost.com)

Homosexuality wasn’t much on my radar at that time. Any fleeting thoughts I had about it were conventional, unreflective and negative. Without knowing very much about homosexuality, I was against it. It was a Bad Thing. What changed my mind was meeting Christian gays and lesbians. I think here, for instance, of a fantastic couple who have been in a relationship for more than 40 years. The two women – one a Quaker, the other a Church of Scotland evangelical – met when they worked in an orphanage in Vietnam. They adopted a homeless girl. Now happily married, their daughter could not have been brought up in a more loving Christian home.

I was angered when I learned about the treatment that people in same-sex relationships suffered at the hands of the Church. What surprised me was not how few gay and lesbian people went to church, but how many attended, despite the fact that they had to endure rants from the pulpit about how evil homosexuality was and how they would end up in hell if they did not repent.

And one of the flaws in the Kirk’s consultation process was the lack of instructions to Kirk sessions and presbyteries to sit down and listen to real-life Christians in same-sex relationships. I find that an astonishing omission.

I have read some abysmal Christian literature, insisting that homosexuality was a lifestyle choice, and that it could be “cured” by prayer. (Why any sane person would choose a way of life that would bring them ridicule and contempt, and sometimes even violence, was not explained.) Clerics told Christian gay people that they would be punished by God if they had sex, because sex had to take place only within marriage. When they asked for marriage, they were told that marriage was restricted to heterosexuals. Gotcha!

How could this go on in the name of a loving God? It struck me that on this issue, the big, bad secular world that some clerics hate so much was way ahead of the churches in terms of compassion and moral sensitivity.

Some traditionalist leaders now agree. In America, three highly regarded conservative theologians – professors Jack Rogers, Paul Achtemeier and Peter Gomes – created waves when they changed their minds on the issue. Several leading evangelists have done the same. In Britain, the conservative Anglican priest Benny Hazlehurst – conscious that many gay evangelical Christians have lived exemplary lives – declared that “there is nothing in the Bible which condemns consensual, loving, committed gay relationships”, and founded a group called Accepting Evangelicals, which is attracting younger Christians.

There were further shockwaves in the traditionalist world in the UK a few weeks ago, when Steve Chalke, a high-profile evangelical preacher and writer, publicly declared his support for same-sex relationships. “When we refuse to make room for gay people to live in loving, stable relationships, we consign them to lives of loneliness, secrecy and fear,” he wrote. “It’s one thing to be critical of a promiscuous lifestyle – but shouldn’t the Church consider nurturing positive models for permanent and monogamous homosexual relationships?”

Chalke argued that those who claim the Bible condemns all forms of homosexuality will eventually become the minority, in the same way that those who advocated biblical justifications for slavery and a secondary role for women have also been outnumbered. I would agree with him. I also think that this has become a generational issue. Many younger Christians simply cannot see what the fuss is about over homosexuality, and fear that the Church will end up on the wrong side of God’s history.

Jesus was both a traditionalist and revisionist. He revered the Jewish law, yet he transcended it. “Ye have heard that it was said – but I say unto you” is like a drumbeat through his teaching. As he prepared for his own death, he told his disciples that he would have new truths to reveal. It would be wrong to attempt to second-guess what Jesus would say about gay ministers, but it is clear that for him, the tradition was no static thing set in stone, but was a living source of new possibilities.

I would like the General Assembly to affirm unequivocally that the Church of Scotland is an inclusive church, one which believes passionately in equality and justice before God. I would also like it to assert that candidates for the ministry will be selected on the basis of their character and commitment, not on their sexuality.

If that happens, some conservative ministers will leave (though not necessarily with their congregations). The Free Church of Scotland has already indicated that they will welcome such ministers. This move would certainly be a better “fit” for some of the more vocal opponents of same-sex Christian partnerships, since many of them, like the Free Kirk, are also opposed to the ordination of women.

There are many good people in the Free Kirk, but it is not entirely a faction-free zone. There are mutterings about “modernisers”. It was also from the ranks of the Free Church some years ago that a small group of “Bible believing” Christians conspired, but failed, to bring down their finest theologian, Professor Donald Macleod. The insatiable quest for ever more purity has splintered the Presbyterian movement in the Highlands and Islands. Maybe those who are determined to leave the Kirk should beware what they pray for.

Many Jeremiahs predict the demise of the Church of Scotland if it does support gay ministers. I believe that those dancing on the Kirk’s grave will be confounded. If the Church of Scotland moves to the clear public position of being an inclusive church, characterised by equality and justice and with a renewed focus on Jesus Christ at its core, it will be re-energised spiritually.

There are those who bemoan the fact that this controversy is being played out in the public domain. I don’t. Secrecy and cover-up have seriously damaged the Roman Catholic Church in recent times. Scott Rennie is a much-loved parish minister. He is also very brave. He could have covered up his situation, but he chose to be truthful, even though he knew it would be a costly decision.

I believe that this apparently arcane debate really matters, not just to the Kirk but to the wider community of Scotland. Presbyterianism has been one very important voice in the shaping of modern Scotland, for better and for worse. How it handles this issue will influence whether Scotland becomes a kinder place, or not.

Now is the time for brave spiritual leadership. I don’t know if we will get it. But I hope.

Herald Scotland

In Ireland, them Church of Ireland “denies stalling” on same – sex relationships

The Church of Ireland Primate, Archbishop Richard Clarke has denied that the creation of a Select Committee to consider same-sex relationships and human sexuality is an attempt by the Church to “stall” on handling this contentious issue.

At a General Synod press conference in Armagh he told reporters: “The subject of same-sex relationships is desperately divisive but we are trying to approach it in a systematic way.

“The creation of a Select Committee is not an attempt to kick anything into the long grass. If we rush things, people will want to think of ‘winning or losing’ but that is not the way the spirit of God works.

“ This is a time for people to listen generously to one another. It is no a stalling process, and I would not want to a party to anything which is evolved in this way.”

The Archbishop, who holds a traditional view of marriage, also said: “I have to be prepared to listen intently to the views of others. I have to be ready to the possibility of my mind and spirit being changed, and others will have to do likewise.”

A sixteen-person Select Committee was appointed by the General Synod for two years to“ enable listening dialogue and learning… on all issues concerning human sexuality in the context of Christian belief.”

However, Gerry Lynch, the co-chair of the pro gay group Changing Attitude Ireland, told the Belfast Telegraph: “We have to talk about this in a serious and structured way as a Church, but I regret that there are no representatives of the lesbian and gay community on the Select Committee.

“It is a worrying sign that no lessons have been learned about the exclusion of gay people in the Church. The membership of the Select Committee is a bit like appointing a committee on race relations with an all-white membership.”

and in New Zealand,

“Considerable Opposition” to Gay Priest’s Training“ 

The Anglican Bishop of Auckland says he was simply following church rules when he turned Eugene Sisneros down for progressing with a priest training programme because he was in a same-sex relationship.

Bishop Ross Bay told a Human Rights Tribunal hearing in Auckland today he advised Mr Sisneros that entering the programme would be a dead end because of “considerable opposition” from church leaders on the matter.

It is the second day of the hearing over the alleged discrimination, which is being held at Auckland District Court.

Mr Sisneros claims he was barred from entering the programme because of his sexuality – a claim the bishop has denied, saying he was simply following the church’s doctrines.

Bishop Bay told the hearing he would not be opposed to changing his stance should church leaders alter the rules regarding the ordination of homosexual priests.

Our speakers will be reflecting on the theme of the desert and the journey to the promised land.

An intrinsic part of Quest’s purpose, though rarely expressed as such, is the prophetic witness we give to a new style of human living and a belief that prioritises, not so much explanation or winning arguments, but a vision of a community of women and men who are called into an intimacy with God where sexual/gender identity is irrelevant.

The desert is a dry and lonely place where faith, character and resolve are tested. An abiding sense of uncertainty about what the future holds for us in the Church offers us new eyes through which to see the biblical image of the desert. It is precisely that uncertainty that holds within it a powerful place for a renewed encounter with God

- Quest website

Combining opportunities to learn, worship, chat with others and simply relax, it’s a great way to enjoy a weekend – and to grow spiritually, and in confidence as a Catholic who happens to be lesbian, gay or just queer.

Highlights of the conference program will be talks by two distinguished guest speakers, Fr Daniel O’Leary, a teacher and speaker on faith and spirituality, and a renowned author Sarah Maitland who has her Catholic faith and feminism at the core of her work. There will be repeated opportunities for communal prayer and worship specifically designed for our community, and a panel discussion on “Love and marriage”, in the aftermath of equal marriage legislation. Balancing the serious and explicitly religious bits, there will also be time for relaxation, with an evening’s entertainment planned and a gala dinner – followed by a short talk by myself looking at the quirkier, hidden history in the story of our queer saints and martyrs,

Those who have attended in the past, tend to return again and again. If you’re a British Catholic but have not yet experienced the joy and lift of a Quest conference – why not give it a try, this year?

Related article

• Conference 2013, Quest website
• A Kairos Moment for British Gay Catholics? (questgaycatholic.org.uk)
• Soho Masses Community Expanding LGBT Ministry (queeringthechurch.com)
• “Clobber Texts” – Resource Page Updated (queeringthechurch.com)
• Dignity/Detroit Celebrates 39th Anniversary Amid Protests (newwaysministryblog.wordpress.com)
• Polling Confirms: British Catholics Support Gay Marriage (Bishops Out of Touch) (queeringthechurch.com)
• “The revolution of family” and the Catholic Response (queeringthechurch.com)

Assemblywoman Michele Fiore, a Republican from Las Vegas, spoke up in support of the measure for the first time.

“My mom is gay,” Fiore told colleagues. “My two daughters and I are not. My mom is a Democrat. My two daughters and I are strong Republicans. I am who I am today because of the guidance and upbringing of my mom, who is gay.”

And also, a much younger witness:

A high school student testified in support of his two-mom family.

“I was born in Nevada 18 years ago and guess who was there?” an emotional Riley Roberts rhetorically asked. “My mom Pamela Roberts and Gretchen Miller, my loving parents. And who was there to watch me take my first steps? Pamela Roberts and Gretchen Miller.”

- On Top Magazine 

A standard argument raised by opponents of equal marriage, is that it is harmful to children, and deprives them of the “right” to a mother and a father. This is patently ridiculous, contradicted by the other standard argument, that gay marriage is impossible because same – sex couples are incapable of procreation. If a gay couple cannot produce children, which kids are they harming when they marry?

In some families, the children involved are the biological offspring of one half of the couple. Allowing the parents to marry is directly beneficial to those children, bringing legal and financial security to the family, and the intangible emotional and social benefits that help to help marriage endure more successfully than mere cohabitation.

If it’s adopted children that the equal marriage opponents are thinking of – consider why those children need adoptive parents, in the first place. It most certainly is not because two gay men or two lesbians, wanting trophy children to prove they are a real family, have broken up a healthy family and stolen away the kids for their own selfish gratification. The probability is that they’ve been let down by their own biological parents, who for one reason or another are incapable of raising them.

Republican Vice-Presidential candidate Paul Ryan, who was very publicly identified as a faithful Catholic during last year’s election campaign, got it right. As a Catholic, he knows that it is better for a child to be raised in a home environment by two loving parents, than in an orphanage. In his view, two moms or two pops, are not as good as one of each – but still better than none.

A third route by which gay couples become parents is by deliberate procreation by one of the couple, with the help of a sperm donor or surrogate mother  - and the emphasis here, should be on “deliberate”.

Republican Senator Rob Portman  announced recently that he had changed his view on gay marriage, and now supported equality. What made the headlines, was that this change of view was influenced by his own son, who had come out as gay. Digging into the story a little further, was an explanation of just how his thinking had evolved. First came the simple acceptance, from getting to know his son’s friends, that gay people are fully normal, and their relationships loving and healthy. But at first, he dismissed their desire for marriage, thinking that it was distorted by romantic ideas about weddings, gifts and parties – and not about any real commitment to marriage for the long haul. Gradually, he realized that view was mistaken. His son’s friends really did value long-term relationships and commitment, just like any other couples.  But still, he did not think they could be fully responsible parents. That too, changed as he got to know gay couples who were parents – and saw that not only were they every bit as responsible as other parents he knew, they were more so: “excruciatingly responsible”, he said. Why should this be so?

The point is, that with rare exceptions, gay and lesbian couples do not become parents by accident. Two gay men do not rush into a shotgun wedding to hide an unplanned pregnancy, as some high school sweethearts used to do – and then split up soon after, as the shaky foundations of the marriage took its toll on the child. Nor do lesbian moms fall pregnant because of some failure or omission in their contraceptive practice, as sometimes happens to other married couples. Every pair of same – sex parents has become so by deliberate decision of one or both of them.

This is obviously so for parents by adoption, sperm donation or surrogacy, but it is also the case where one half of the couple is a biological parent. In these cases, the other half has entered the relationship in the full knowledge that s/he was taking not just a lover, but also a child (or children).

Research evidence shows that there is more. Having taken on the responsibilities of parenting, many gay and lesbian couples work extra hard at helping their children cope with the difficulties that may arise, actively seeking to compensate for the absence of a male (or female) role model inside the home and helping them to cope with any teasing or bullying they may experience in school for their unusual family backgrounds. Conversely, simply by their own example, they teach their children the value of relationships based on true partnership and negotiation, not on automatic adherence to rigid social expectations of gender roles, and the possibility of  lives of authenticity and integrity, in the face of public prejudice and legal difficulties. The result, some research shows, is that children raised by gay parents often have much stronger self – reliance.

And so it’s not surprising that when the children of same – sex parents speak on the subject, it’s nearly always to contradict those who believe that gay marriages somehow harm the children. Instead, they may well say, together with my own daughter, “Gay parents: I recommend them.”

I can of course only speak from my own experience, and from common sense. I was not adopted; my parents divorced when I was around 7 years old and, like most children after divorce, I was raised mainly by my mother. However, I spent a lot of time (including one full year as a teenager) with my father and his then partner, Bruce, with whom he shared an 18-year relationship. I consider myself entirely unscarred by the experience. In fact, to confirm Dad’s report, I do feel that I was privileged to be part of this unusual family.

It’s hard to explain why, without sounding terribly patronising – not my intention. But in high school, particularly, I was very aware of having a different perspective to my peers. I enjoyed this and I believe it was very valuable in forming my worldview, a view perhaps less limited than that of many suburban kids. My family was unusual, but stable, and very supportive. Gay parents: I recommend them.

It’s not only same – sex couples who take on parenting as deliberate choice, in adoption (or for that matter, by sperm donation). Other – sex couples do, too. Their observations confirm that the love and care shown by gay parents mirrors their own – and the opposition to gay marriage is having the unsettling effect of sanctifying “natural” parenting over the value of adoptive parenting, as Tom Junod explains in How the War on gay marriage turned into a war on gay adoption. For the war on adoption, follow the link to read the full piece. Here’s just a key extract, on the value of adoptive parents – of any gender or affectional orientation:

Since my wife and I adopted our daughter, we’ve come to know many same-sex couples who are also adoptive parents, and it is exactly as proponents of “natural marriage” fear: it is their prowess as parents, rather than as pro-creators, that turns out to be persuasive. I have come to believe that they have the right to be married because I know that I have the right to be married, and I know that they are the same as me — because I know that I have more in common with gay adoptive parents than I do with straight biological ones. In my wife and in me, the self-evident biological purpose of procreation may be broken, but by God, we earn the right to be called parents because of the effort required to raise our child apart from the sacred biological bond…and so they, our friends engaged in the same effort, the same mighty and holy labor, earn the right to be called married. People wonder why public opinion regarding same-sex marriage has shifted so quickly; although I can only answer from my own experience, I can tell you that in my case my recognition of the right of same-sex couples to marry grew directly from the arguments mustered against it, because ultimately I realized they were also mustered against my wife, against me, and against the one person all the pro-marriage protestors and pamphleteers have pledged themselves to protect:

My child.

Related articles

• Gay Parents: Recommended
• Won’t Someone Please Think of the Kiddies?
• Equal Marriage: Strengthening Families in Massachusetts?
• Pope Benedict’s Strong Argument for Gay Marriage, Queer Families.
• Queer Families: A Child’s Song of Praise For His Two Dads
• Queer Families: Listen to the Children, Revisited.
• How the war on gay marriage turned into a war on gay adoption (esquire.com)
• Is adoption more important than marriage? (huffingtonpost)
• Kids raised by gay parents are ‘doing just fine’ (futurity.org)
• Iowa Supreme Court rules for gay parents on birth certificates (updatednews.ca)
• Gay Parents As Good As Straight Ones, Kids are “doing fine”: Study Debunks Stigma, Bias, Propaganda (thesantosrepublic.com)
• New Evidence Corroborates Conclusion That Regnerus Study Was Politically Driven (bilgrimage.blogspot.com)

This is not new: Catholics have been prominent in marriage victories elsewhere, as have other faith groups. (Mark D Jordan reminds us in “Blessing Same – Sex Unions” of something most of us have forgotten – that some same – sex couples were marrying or having their unions blessed in churches and temples for years, before legal recognition was even thought possible). But it is true that for a long time, it appeared that church groups were overwhelmingly opposed, and only fairly recently has faith – based support become reasonably widespread. Minnesota, I suspect, is one example where the religious support has been particularly telling.

Of the many Catholic activists and politicians who have contributed to this big win for authentic Catholic family values, is fellow blogger Michael Bayly, whose The Wild Reed was the inspiration and example that got me started myself. As I’ve followed his work over the past five years or so, I’ve noted how the case for marriage has increased steadily in prominence at The Wild Reed – and later at the dedicated site “Sensus Fidelium” (presenting news from Catholics for Marriage Equality MN). Behind the words on the blogs, of course, is also an enormous amount of leg work and networking, by Michael and other Catholics, and by other faith groups.

At a prayer gathering yesterdatm representatives from a number of faith traditions – Christian, Jewish and Wiccan

I’m not going to even attempt to offer a run-down of all the people and groups who have contributed, or how. But for some indication of just how much there has been, cross to yesterday’s post at The Wild Reed, “Drawing the Circle Wide”, written in anticipation of today’s success and giving an extensive list of some of those people, with pictures, whose hard work has now paid off. Then cross to today’s post at Sensus Fidelium, “It’ll be legal by August 1st”, where you can read more about the legwork done by Catholics for Marriage Equality MN, and read a commentary by one of their prominent political friends and allies, state Senator, John Marty.

Then, write a note of congratulations to C4ME Mn, or place one in a comment box.

And enjoy the moment.

From The Wild Reed, an extract:

On the eve of tomorrow’s historic Minnesota House vote to grant the rights and responsibilities of civil marriage to same-sex couples, hundreds of people of faith gathered earlier this evening at Christ on Capitol Hill Lutheran Church to “pray a new reality into being” – the reality of marriage equality for all, regardless of sexual orientation. The gathering was organized by the Faith Organizing Roundtable.

Marriage equality prayer vigil

 

As Executive Coordinator of Catholics for Marriage Equality MN, I was honored to stand with representatives from a number of faith traditions – Christian, Jewish and Wiccan. With me representing local Catholics supportive of marriage equality were Jim Smith of C4ME-MN andDignityUSA and Joan Howe Pullis of Pax Christi Catholic Community.

Above left: Standing at left with Robin Mavis and David Lohman. You may recall that David is the gifted songwriter and musician who worked with local Catholics this time last year in the making of a music video for his song “For All the Children.” For a behind-the-scenes look at the making of this video, click here. To hear and view the finished video, click here.

and from Sensus Fidelium, another:

Four years ago MN State Sen. John Marty addressed the 2009 annual community meeting of theCatholic Pastoral Committee on Sexual Minorities and told those in attendance that “we can make it happen.” He was referring to marriage equality for all Minnesotan citizens, regardless of sexual orientation.

Last Thursday, February 14, was St. Valentine’s Day – a perfect day for the annual Freedom to Marry Day rally at the MN State Capitol. This year’s rally, organized byMinnesotans United for All Families, saw over 2,000 people gather in the rotunda of the Capitol to show their support for civil marriage rights for same-sex couples. One of the definite highlights of the rally for me was when we unfurled the Catholics for Marriage Equality MN banner from one of the top balconies of the rotunda. I heard a thunderous wave of applause rise up from below, and thought to myself that the first of the rally’s speakers must have stepped up to the podium. Looking down I made the wonderful discovery that it wasn’t the appearance of a speaker that the crowd was so enthusiastically responding to, but rather the appearance of our banner!

As a Saffer in the UK, I’m not affected directly, but as a gay man, as a Catholic, as a human – this and every victory makes life better, indirectly, for me and for all.

Thanks, Michael, and everybody else.

Related articles

• Catholic Lawmakers Promote R. I. Marriage Equality.
• “The revolution of family” and the Catholic Response
• Gay Marriage Laws Forcing Responses From Churches.
• Polling Confirms: British Catholics Support Gay Marriage (Bishops Out of Touch)
• Celebrating the “Goodness” in Same – Sex Relationships

• Now Delaware, Followed by Minnesota? Commentary by Minnesota Catholic Law Professor on His Changed Mind (bilgrimage.blogspot.com)
• People of Faith in Minnesota Gather to Pray that Circle of God’s Love Be Drawn Wider (bilgrimage.blogspot.com)

The Southern Cross, a weekly Catholic paper from South Africa, has some useful thoughts on this from the editor. First, an extract on the changing nature of marriage and the family:

In practice, the function of procreation has been diminished as the primary purpose of marriage, and not only in the West. It is within this context that the notion of same-sex marriage has become acceptable to so many people throughout the world.

These realities merit open and candid discussion as the Church seeks to formulate its response.

Some critics will reply that it is not “real” marriage that has changed, which is permanent and enduring. In this view, the changes in marriage are evils to be resisted, not something to be accommodated. That is simplistic. The reality is that the nature of marriage has changed constantly over the centuries, together with the church’s view of it. What is required now, is not a simple knee-jerk rejection in principle of all change to the understanding of marriage, but thoughtful, serious reflection on the deep, intrinsic meaning of marriage, what current changes are temporary or unhealthy, and what is likely to become permanent.

The Southern Cross continues with some observations on the harm done by some bishops in their opposition to marriage equality:

It may also be productive to study the effects of the tone in which Church leaders state their opposition to gay marriage. For example, have the more strident forms of rhetoric—on either side—precluded reasonable dialogue and compromise?

It must be acknowledged that in its engagement against gay marriage, the Catholic Church has inflicted wounds, and sustained some itself.

The Church has been accused of homophobia and hypocrisy. While opposition to same-sex marriage obviously is not intrinsically homophobic, some of the trenchant rhetoric has been interpreted as being hostile to homosexuals. Sometimes the lines between defending marriage and attacking homosexuals have appeared to be blurred.

Some intemperate protests from Church leaders have been hurtful to the LGBT community, in contrast with the Catechism of the Catholic Church which demands that homosexuals be “accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity” (2358).

Not all bishops have been guilty of this intemperate language, and some have expressed explicit recognition of the need to be more supportive and welcoming, and the importance of using language with care. Cardinal Dolan of New York, for instance, made headlines over Easter with his statement that the Church needs to be more supportive of LGBT Catholics, and the a report by the French Bishops’ Conference commission on marriage and family urged that both sides engage in courteous, rational debate, rather than hurling accusations at each other of homophobia, intolerance or animosity.

Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York, who himself has offered ferocious opposition to gay marriage, acknowledged this failing last month when he said on US television that the Church must ensure that its “defence of marriage is not reduced to an attack on gay people”.

He acknowledged, with admirable frankness, that the Church has not “been too good at that” and has failed to be consistently welcoming to gays and lesbians.

This failure to fully extend Christ’s embrace for all requires correction. The discussion about how to do this must begin now.

via The Southern Cross

And yet, and yet……

Even these voices calling for calm and reason have been unable to take their own advice. Cardinal Dolan has since shown himself singularly incapable of showing the support that he was speaking about, with his completely insensitive comparison of LGBT people with children with dirty hands. In France, shortly after the publication of their really helpful report , the bishops ignored their own words, standing by without raising any objection as protestx against the changes to the law turned violent, and some continued to use the inflammatory language their report condemned.

On the other hand, I’m not convinced that the “dirty hands” protest by some LGBT Catholics against Cardinal Dolan’s words was the most appropriate response, either. It is certainly true that Catholic leaders need to do much more to demonstrate a real welcome in church for all, including lesbian and gay Catholics – but we in turn need to reflect on the most constructive way to help them to get there, and how to accept and make the most of that welcome, when it is offered.

Related articles

• Celebrating the “Goodness” in Same – Sex Relationships (queeringthechurch.com)
• Cardinal Timothy Dolan: “Catholic Church needs better outreach to gays” (queeringthechurch.com)
• Gay Marriage Laws Forcing Responses From Churches. (queeringthechurch.com)
• The Church In Rhode Island (dish.andrewsullivan.com)
• Anti-Gay Archbishop Calls Marriage Equality Bill ‘Serious Injustice’ (huffingtonpost.com)
• Church Hypocrisy Over Colombian Marriage Equality. (queeringthechurch.com)

In that state, same – sex marriage has been part of state law since 2004, long enough for evidence of the grave harm to have emerged – if, in fact, there were  any. The evidence we have points in completely the opposite direction. One of the indicators of weak families is the incidence of teen pregnancies. A recent report by the Massachusetts Department of Public Health shows that state levels of teen pregnancy are now the lowest ever recorded, and also the lowest in the US.

• The 2010 teen birth rate in Massachusetts (17.1 births per 1,000 women ages 15-19) represented a decline from the 2009 rate (19.5 births per 1,000 women ages 15-19). This was the lowest teen birth rate ever recorded.
• The teen birth rate in Massachusetts (17.1 births per 1,000 females ages 15-19 years)  was half that of the US rate (34.3 births per 1,000 females ages 15-19 years).
• The percentage of unmarried mothers in Massachusetts (34.6%) was 15% lower than the US percentage of unmarried mothers (40.8%).

Correlation is not causality, so from this data alone we cannot infer that marriage equality has contributed directly to stronger families. However, it does undermine the opposite claim, that extending marriage undermines the traditional kind. There is also other evidence.

Two further, critical indicators of the strength of families are the marriage and divorce rates: a March 2012 analysis by Slate magazine analyzed these for all six states that had introduced same – sex marriage by 2010. In three of these, marriage rates climbed sharply, exceeding the national rate,  after gay marriage was introduced, In the others, there was effectively no change. In four of these states, divorce rates are lower than the national average, in two they are just about the same.

Marriage rates in states with same – sex marriage

Again, it’s dangerous to read too much into these data. The uptick could be a statistical fluke, it could be that the publicity around marriage has reignited interest in the general population – or it could just be that out-of state couples without equal marriage have been crossing state lines to take advantage. Crossing state lines however does not affect divorce rates, for which a  similar analysis showed that four of the six states had rates lower than the national average, and the other two just about on par with the country as a whole.

Correlation is not causality,and we still cannot infer that marriage equality has contributed directly to stronger families. However, it does again undermine the idea that extending marriage weakens the traditional kind.

But earlier research from Massachusetts did suggest at least one direct link, for gay men specifically. This analysis showed that a whole raft of public health indicators had improved in the years since the introduction of gay marriage, possibly because of the reduction in stress, This affected those who had married personally, but also the single population, as equal marriage in state law became a symbol of increased public acceptance and inclusion in community life. For those couples with children, the men’s improved health had also had a direct, positive impact on the health of the children.

But there’s a much simpler way to look at the impact of gay marriage, coming from my own country, South Africa, which introduced equality in 2006. This is from Estelle Nagel, a South African, in the Huffington Post:

You know what will happen, right? It happened to South Africa, and it will happen to you.

Ready?

Wait for it…

A bunch of gay people will get married!

They will do so the same way straight couples have been doing for years: Privately, with their friends and family, without you ever having to know about it.

It’s what has happened in South Africa. Gay people got married. The girl who came in third on Idols, the South African version of American Idol, got married. Two men got married in a traditional African ceremony, wearing animal skins and killing an ox so that their ancestors could bless their union. An avid rugby player I went to high school with got married to his partner, whom he met while traveling. A friend of mine from college is thinking of proposing to her longtime girlfriend. Gay people got married, and some got divorced, and some are living right across the road — and my life has gone on as usual.

Even the anti-equality advocates themselves don’t really believe that gay marriage harms their own.

ThinkProgress asked attendees an anti-equality rally in Washington DC today about what impact same-sex marriage has had on their own marriages over the last decade. Nearly everyone was flummoxed by the idea that someone else’s marriage would pose a threat to their own. One man even noted that gay marriage has strengthened his marriage by bringing him and his wife together over the shared belief that gays and lesbians should not be allowed to wed.

Watch the highlights:

One final thought, for all those who are still worried that gay marriage will undermine normal marriage: THERE IS NO NORMAL!

Source: Strong Families Movement

Related articles

• Marriage Equality Update (dish.andrewsullivan.com)
• Advocacy: Please Urge Your NV Assemblyperson to Support Marriage Equality (humboldtdems.wordpress.com)
• Catholic Lawmakers Promote R. I. Marriage Equality. (queeringthechurch.com)
• Delaware to Become 11th State with Marriage Equality (towleroad.com)
• Gay Marriage: Why Attitudes Have Evolved (queeringthechurch.com)
• NOM Proves That Same-Sex Marriage Isn’t the Cause of Decreasing Marriage Rates (pamshouseblend.firedoglake.com)
• The Future of Same-Sex Marriage in America (1800politics.com)
• VIDEO: Conservatives At Anti-Gay Marriage Rally Undercut One Of Their Primary Talking Points (thinkprogress.org)