A Queer tale of Oscar Wilde’s friends: the Catholic Priest and his lover, a Dominican Brother

Amid all the Queen’s diamond jubilee nonsense, the queer Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence  picnicked on Carlton Hill in Edinburgh yesterday, after visiting key sites in Edinburgh’s gay and lesbian history: ‘Old Queens’ alternative jubilee picnic

The Sisters were formed in about 1979 in response to attacks on the queer community by religious organisations, with a simple twin mission:

  • the expiation of stigmatic guilt, and
  • the promulgation of universal joy.
Novice Vipiera, rather over tired at Pride Scotia

Scottish Novice Vipiera, rather over-tired at Pride Scotia

“Before their picnic, … [they visited] St Patrick’s Catholic church in Cowgate, where the poet John Gray, a lover of Oscar Wilde, had become priest after his conversion to Catholicism but lived still with his partner.”


Very curious, I thought, John Gray, a Victorian and early Edwardian gay Catholic Priest with a male partner? I had to find out more.

It turns out it’s a very queer Catholic tale of poets, playwrights and artists, Priests and Brothers and of the beginnings of gay equality.

Oscar’s novel The Picture of Dorian Gray is named in homage to his lover, John Gray, later a priest

One year before Oscar Wilde’s queer gothic tale The Picture of Dorian Gray first appeared in a magazine in 1890, Wilde and John Gray met at a dinner party in Chelsea, London, in 1889. Wilde was 34 and John Gray was a “wonderfully handsome” 22 year old. Oscar Wilde was not the first or last posh homosexual to be attracted to ‘a bit of rough’ (“It was like feasting with panthers; the danger was half the excitement”) and Wilde fell for John Gray, a carpenter’s son from Bethnal Green, in London’s working class east end.

John had left school at 13, apprenticed as a metal worker in the Royal Arsenal arms factory in Woolwich, but had worked hard to better himself through attending night school and was now working for the Foreign Office library, and had had his own first literary aesthetic writings published in 1888, the year before he met Oscar.

Richard Ellmann, the author of Oscar Wilde, argues: “Wilde and Gray were assumed to be lovers, and there seems no reason to doubt it.” Wilde later described Gray as being:

“Wonderfully handsome, with his finely-curved scarlet lips, his frank blue eyes, his crisp gold hair. There was something in his face that made one trust him at once. All the candour of youth was there, as well as all youth’s passionate purity. One felt that he had kept himself unspotted from the world.”

A mutual friend, Lionel Johnson, said that John Gray had the “face of a fifteen year-old boy”.


John Gray, the poet, 1866-1934

John Gray, poet and priest, 1866-1934

Catholic convert John Gray and the nearly Catholic Oscar Wilde

Shortly after meeting Oscar, in February 1890, John Gray, who had been raised working class Methodist, was baptised a Catholic when he was nearly 23, shortly before Oscar’s Picture of Dorian Gray appeared in its original magazine manifestation. John lapsed from Catholicism shortly after this, but not for long, since Oscar’s legal trials in 1895 propelled John back into the arms of the Church.

Oscar was born in an upper middle class family in Dublin and raised as an Anglican in the Church of Ireland.

However while in his early twenties and studying at Oxford University in the mid 1870s, Oscar was seriously considering becoming a Catholic, and discussed the possibility with priests several times. In 1877, Wilde was left speechless after an audience with Pope Pius IX in Rome. He eagerly read Cardinal Newman’s books, and became more serious about conversion in 1878, when he met Fr. Sebastian Bowden, a priest at the Brompton Oratory, London, who had already received some high profile converts. But on the day of his baptism, Wilde had a last minute change of heart and sent Fr. Bowden a bunch of lilies instead.

Married Oscar, 32, charmed and seduced by 17 year old Robbie Ross

Wilde retained a lifelong interest in Catholic theology and liturgy. He married Constance Lloyd at the Church of England St. James Church in Paddington, London in 1884 and they had two sons. After the second son was born in 1886, Oscar became increasingly estranged from his wife, and in 1887 was seduced into a sexual relationship by a precocious and openly gay 17 year old Canadian lad, Robbie Ross. Robbie remained a loyal friend and became Oscar’s hard-working literary executor after his death.

Oscar’s death bed Last Rites

As Oscar lay on his death bed in post-imprisonment exile in Paris, he was baptised a Catholic and given the last rites by an Irish Passionist priest, Fr. Cuthbert Dunne, in late November 1900.


Dorian Gray and the John Gray connection

The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde’s only novel, is an eerie fable with homosexual allusions, about a decadent young man whose portrait ages while he retains his youth. The name ‘Gray’ in the title is Oscar’s tribute to John. Richard Ellmann, Wilde’s biographer, argues:

“To give the hero of his novel the name of Gray was a form of courtship. Wilde probably named his hero not to point to a model, but to flatter Gray by identifying him with Dorian. Gray took the hint, and in letters to Wilde signed himself Dorian. Their intimacy was common talk.”

The first name ‘Dorian’, in sophisticated Victorian circles, would have been seen as an obvious reference to the ancient Greek tribe, the Dorians, proselytes for the culture of paiderastia (pederasty), sexual love between males.

Achilles bandages Patroclus

Achilles bandages Patroclus


The Picture of Dorian Gray is a very queer tale

Not very surprisingly, critics interpreted the book as promoting homosexuality and suggested this, in a typically indirect Victorian way (indirect because this is ‘the love that dares not speak its name’). Charles Whibley, for example, accused Wilde of writing for “none but outlawed noblemen and perverted telegraph boys” [‘perverted telegraph boys’ is Victorian code for rent boys, male prostitutes]. On 30th June, 1890 The Daily Chronicle suggested that Wilde’s story contains “one element… which will taint every young mind that comes in contact with it.”

Picture of Dorian Gray with a quote regretting the forever young image he has lost

Wilde was concerned by the suggestions that he was trying to promote a serious criminal offence, homosexual sex, and toned the story down when he rewrote and extended it for publication as a book in 1891. Despite this, the book received an extremely hostile reception, with the leading national booksellers W H Smiths describing it as a “filthy book” and refusing to stock it.

John Gray denies any connection

By 1892 the notoriety of the book was such that John Gray was denying and disputing any connection between him and the book and he began to sue the Star newspaper for libel. The paper apologised. John was also somewhat jealous: Wilde had found a new target for his queer affections, Lord Alfred Douglas. In 1893 John Gray wrote “the falling out with Oscar … it is absolute”.


John Gray’s spiritual conflicts

John Gray’s spiritual conflicts of those years, the years that as Fr. Gray he would look back on as his “course of sin”, are suggested in the very best of the short stories he wrote, “The Person in Question”. This obviously autobiographical tale, written in about 1892, was discovered years later in typescript in the Dominican Chaplaincy in Edinburgh and finally published in 1958. It is a doppelgänger narrative about a young man haunted by the apparition of himself as he will be in 25 years’ time if he continues on his hedonistic life. The horrifying vision of his future leads to mania, as John Gray’s own psychological crisis brought him to the edge of suicide.


John comes under the wing of wealthy poet and early gay advocate, Marc-André Raffalovich

John Gray had recently met Marc-André Raffalovich, a wealthy poet and early advocate in France of gay people, and he became John Gray’s most important supporter, and later his life partner. Influenced by Marc-André’s protective and circumspect tendencies, Gray left out his more obviously homoerotic poems when compiling his first collection of verse, Silverpoints. But the collection still has an overwhelming 1890s air of decadence as, for instance, in “The Barber”:

I dreamed I was a barber; and

there went

Beneath my hand, oh! manes



Grays’s poetry book, Silverpoints, was published soon after Dorian Gray appeared in book form, in 1893. It included sixteen original poems and thirteen translations from Paul Verlaine, Stéphane Mallarmé, Arthur Rimbaud and Charles Baudelaire.


Oscar’s trials

In 1895, Oscar Wilde unwisely launched a private prosecution for criminal libel against the Marquess of Queensbury, who was the father of his lover, Lord Alfred Douglas, for suggesting Oscar was ‘posing as a sodomite’, at a time when having gay sex was a serious criminal offence. Robbie Ross, Wilde’s ‘out’ young gay lover, fled to France for safety.

Gray’s soul-searching and emergent spirituality

Wilde’s trial prompted some intense soul-searching by John Gray and he re-embraced Catholicism in 1895. His third poetry collection was ‘Spiritual Poems, chiefly done out of several languages’ (1896), and defined his developing identity as a Catholic aesthete. It contained eleven original poems and twenty-nine translations of works by many others including Verlaine and the mystic St John of the Cross, both Catholic and Protestant. Gray’s later works were mainly devotional and often dealt with various Christian saints.

Gray goes off to Seminary

Gray quit working at the Foreign Office library and on 28 November 1898, at the age of 32, he entered Scots College, Rome, to study for the priesthood. He was ordained at St John Lateran, Rome just before Christmas 1901.

Fr John Gray’s gay rights advocate and life partner, Brother Sebastian, Marc-André Raffalovich

David Gray’s most important supporter, and life partner, was Marc-André Raffalovich, a wealthy poet and early advocate of gay people. They had first met in an artistic literary salon Raffalovich himself ran in London in the 1890s. Marc-André became a Catholic in 1896 under John Gray’s influence, before John went to the seminary in Rome (Marc-André was a convert from Judaism), and he then joined the tertiary order of Dominicans and became Brother Sebastian, in honour of Saint Sebastian, a saint with strong gay associations.

John Gray and Marc-André were instrumental in converting to Catholicism another famous queer artist, the dying Aubrey Beardsley, and Gray wrote the introduction to Beardsley’s Last Letters, published in 1904.

Marc-Andre Raffalovich

Marc-André Raffalovich, Br. Sebastian

As a priest Fr John Gray disassociated himself as far as possible from his earlier Wilde homosexual history. His aim was now to work “entirely among the hopeless poor” and he became assistant curate in 1905, serving mainly Irish labourers and their families, at St. Patrick’s, Cowgate, in central Edinburgh.

St. Patrick's, Cowgate, Edinburgh

St. Patrick's, Cowgate, Edinburgh, built 1772-4 as an Episcopalian Church

St. Patrick’s Catholic Church, Cowgate, Edinburgh

Marc-André followed him to Edinburgh from London, settling nearby and setting up another artistic and literary salon. Sunday lunches and Tuesday dinner parties at Marc-André’s house in Whitehouse Terrace became a famous meeting point in Scottish artistic and intellectual life. After lunch, the guests would be led into the study to admire the Catholic Eric Gill’s sculpture of Sebastian, the saint whose name Raffalovich took as a Dominican Brother after his conversion. “I have the feeling,” wrote one habitué, “that some of the guests were a little embarrassed by the martyr’s nudity.” Eric Gill’s sculpture of Saint Sebastian is now part of the London Tate Gallery’s collection.

St Sebastian 1920 by Eric Gill in the Tate collection

St Sebastian 1920 by Catholic artist Eric Gill, Tate Collection

St Sebastian at the Tate

Adored but baffling Parish Priest at St Peter’s Morningside, Edinburgh

St. Peter's Church, Morningside, Edinburgh

St. Peter's Church, Morningside, Edinburgh

St. Peter’s Church, Morningside, Edinburgh © Copyright Kim Traynor and licensed for reuse under this Creative Commons Licence


Marc-André generously helped finance St Peter’s Church in Morningside, designed by the Scottish Arts and Crafts architect Robert Lorimer, where Gray would serve as its first parish priest for the rest of his life.

As a priest Fr John Gray was adored by the parishioners, although they found him rather baffling. It was not just a matter of the black sheets in the presbytery. Fr. Gray was a creature of “polished reserve”. There are many references in memoirs of the period to his mask-like countenance, his enigmatic, heavy-lidded Mona Lisa eyes. He became a cult figure in church circles, appearing in Ronald Firbank’s novel Inclinations as the eloquent and touching preacher Father Brown.

Chaste until death

Father John and Brother Sebastian maintained a chaste relationship until Raffalovich’s sudden death in 1934. A devastated Fr. John Gray died exactly four months later in an Edinburgh nursing home, after a brief illness.

Catholic Figures, Queer Narratives

Marc-André Raffalovich’s advocacy of homosexuality

In 1894, Raffalovich had started to write about homosexuality (‘unisexualité’, he called it) for the Archives de l’Anthropologie Criminelle, a prestigious French journal founded by Alexandre Lacassagne, a pioneer criminologist and professor of forensic medicine. Marc-André soon became recognised as an expert, corresponding with other researchers throughout Europe.

Uranisme et unisexualite by Marc-Andre Raffalovich

His major work, Uranisme et unisexualité: étude sur différentes manifestations de l’instinct sexuel was published in 1896. In 1897, he started working on Annales de l’unisexualité, and les Chroniques de l’unisexualité, with the aim of cataloging everything published on the subject of homosexuality. These catalogues are still used by historians of sexuality to this day.


Homosexuality and Raffalovich’s Catholicism

There is a close link between Raffalovich’s views on homosexuality and his Catholicism as Brother Sebastian. He rejected the late 19th century idea of ‘inverts’ and ‘intermediates’ as a ‘third sex’, and instead considered homosexuality simply as another expression of human sexuality. He made a distinction between people born homosexual and those who chose to adopt homosexual sexual behaviour. Being born homosexual is to have potential, but people who chose to adopt homosexual sexual behaviour he thought were mired in vice and perversion.

He regarded a heterosexual’s destiny as marriage and having a family, whereas a homosexual’s duty, he believed, was to overcome and transcend his sexual desires with artistic pursuits and spiritual – even mystical – friendships.

Homosexuality as a mystical experience

These views led him to clash with Magnus Hirschfeld and the members of the Scientific Humanitarian Committee, and in response Raffalovich / Brother Sebastian accused them of being propagandists for moral dissolution and of wanting to destroy whole generations. While they championed decriminalisation, he supported the continuing criminalisation of male homosexual behaviour, as a way to contain moral chaos.

Raffalovich’s attempts to reconcile his homosexuality and his Catholic beliefs pushed him into criticising the early gay liberation movement; in 1910, he finally stopped commenting altogether on homosexuality, the subject which had been such an important part in his life. Instead, he focused on his Edinburgh salon and supporting young artists.


Read about Raffalovich and the Catholic Theology on Homosexuality

At Queering the Church, about Oscar Wilde and the Vatican – A Church of Saints and Sinners

The Vatican wakes up to the wisdom of Oscar Wilde 


Some sources

John Gray

and at Wikipedia

The bizarre story of John Gray, the ‘young Adonis’ on whom Oscar Wilde based his celebrated character

Marc-André Raffalovich

Robbie Ross, Oscar Wilde’s young lover

Oscar Wilde

The Picture of Dorian Gray

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6 comments for “A Queer tale of Oscar Wilde’s friends: the Catholic Priest and his lover, a Dominican Brother

  1. June 7, 2012 at 8:37 am

    This is superb work. I came across the story of Gray and Raffalovich some months ago, but you’ve uncovered  much more than I did. Many thanks. We need to be far more aware of the extensive and fascinating strands in queer church history. I’m particularly pleased to have your pointer to “Catholic Figures Queer Narratives”, a book I will now want to read – but is alas too dear for me to buy.

    A caution for the unwary:  Thomas Gray the priest is not the same poet as Thomas Gray of the famous Elegy in a Country Churchyard, who was a Cambridge scholar over a hundred years earlier – and was also gay. As they shared a name, both were poets and both were gay, they are easily confused – but must not be.

    • Chris Morley
      June 7, 2012 at 11:48 am

      Thanks for the appreciation! It was fascinating digging in and seeing what came up. Lots of plums.

      Do have a look at http://aronbengilad.blogspot.co.uk/2011/04/raffalovich-and-catholic-theology-on.html and explore what else is on that Catholic – Jewish fusion blog.

      Catholic Figures – Queer Narratives looks an interesting read – even if your local library doesn’t have it almost anything is available if it’s on library shelf somewhere in the UK, through InterLibrary loans, so just put in a request.

      I have another queer byway to explore now, for another offbeat post- about a queer French cross-dresser whose portrait has just been bought by the National Portrait Gallery.

      • June 7, 2012 at 12:29 pm

        If you’re referring to François-Timoléon de Choisy, the Cross-Dressing Abbé, I love him/her (
        http://queerhistory.blogspot.co.uk/2010/10/francois-timoleon-de-choisy-cross.html ). I didn’t know about the National Portrait purchase.

        • Chris Morley
          June 7, 2012 at 2:32 pm

          I’m looking instead into Charles Geneviève Louis Auguste André Timothée d’Éon de Beaumont (1728-1810).
          His Catholic connection is decidedly tenuous – baptised and confirmed in France and that seems about it; but he’s known by some as the ‘Patron Saint of Transvestites’ and the Beaumont Society for Trans* people is named after him.

          The Patron Saint bit seems no more than secular admirers putting a pseudo-religious gloss on him for being a significant and well-known historical cross-dressing figure.
          Charles d’Éon de Beaumont may be less Catholic than the cross-dressing Abbé, but a more significant
          figure historically. Here’s the report in today’s paper

          Your link to the information on François-Timoléon de Choisy, Cross-Dressing Abbé and Priest, who I’d not heard of,
          includes a stray ) so it doesn’t work but this works for anyone curious to know about him http://queerhistory.blogspot.co.uk/2010/10/francois-timoleon-de-choisy-cross.html

          How on earth did he get to be ordained and dress as a woman at Pope Innocent XI’s inauguration ball? If only Benedict today could be as relaxed. (However once Innocent got his feet under his desk he seems to have become a right little hardliner, closing all the theatres in Rome and stopping the Opera. But he did eradicate the Vatican’s deficit and balanced the books.) 

      • June 7, 2012 at 4:16 pm

        Your reference to Catholic – Jewish fusion reminded me of a book by the Jewish/ interfaith religious scholar Jay Michaelson that was recently recommended to me – “God vs Gay”. which I’ve been exploring on the Amazon preview, and which looks to me to be sufficiently useful that I probably will buy it outright.

        (I also like that in an extensive listing of “Further reading, among just a handful of LGBT religious s websites, is – Queering the Church ).

  2. Fred Roden
    January 20, 2013 at 12:07 am

    This is not shameless self-promotion, but I’ll point you to the following:

    An essay about Raffalovich’s Jewishness in my edited volume on Jewish/Christian intersections:

    “Marc-Andre Raffalovich: A Russian-French-Jewish-Catholic Homosexual in Oscar Wilde’s London.” _Jewish/Christian/Queer: Crossroads and Identities_ , Ed. Frederick S. Roden (Ashgate, 2009). 127-137.

    My essay on Raffalovich and Gray’s long friendship, drawn from a study of their correspondence:

    “Michael Field, John Gray, and Marc-Andre Raffalovich: Re-Inventing Romantic Friendship in Modernity.” _Catholic Figures, Queer Narratives_. Ed. Lowell Gallagher, Frederick S. Roden, and Patricia Juliana Smith (Palgrave Macmillan, 2007). 57-68.

    and a chapter on Raffalovich and Gray in my book, _Same-Sex Desire in Victorian Religious Culture_ (Palgrave Macmillan, 2002).

    I’m pleased to say that we are working on an edition/translation of Raffalovich’s _Uranisme et Unisexualite_, which should be published in the next two years or so.

    I have worked on other matters religious/queer, so should you have inquiries about this please feel free to contact me or look me up on english.uconn.edu

    Frederick S. Roden
    Department of English
    University of Connecticut (USA)

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