“What is a gay Catholic to do?” is a vexed and difficult question. Although orthodox, CDF doctrine is popularly assumed to be clear, it is in fact riddled with ambiguities and internal contradictions when coupled with parallel teachings on justice, the proper approach to interpreting Scripture, and the importance of considering evidence from social and natural sciences. It is also woefully deficient in guidance on pastoral practice, riddled with gaps – which is why the recent series of conferences on Sexual Diversity and the Catholic Church have been so important. One suggestion, which has come in a completely orthodox context by a Catholic theologian, is to be a prophetic voice in the Catholic community.
Church teaching on conscience is clear that we have not only the right but the obligation to follow our consciences in preference to Vatican doctrine, if that is where, after proper formation and prayer, it leads to informed disagreement – but when we do, we frequently find that we come under vitriolic attack by some rule-book Catholics, and discriminated against by Church structures and practice. Against this background, I commend to you some useful advice from Rev. Christopher DeGiovine.
Fr DeGiovine, Dean of Spiritual Life at the (Catholic) of Saint Rose in Albany, NY, and is also Adjunct Assistant Professor of Ministry Studies at St. Bernard’s School of Theology and Ministry, was speaking in an interfaith panel discussion at the college, on marriage. (The particular focus of the discussion was on interfaith marriage, and marriage equality).
After a discussion on the Church’s approach to interfaith marriage, he gave a completely orthodox summary of teaching on homosexuality. The condition is not in itself sinful, but it imposes an expectation that those who have that condition, are called to live in a particular state (i.e., celibacy). Asked how he would respond to someone who feels abandoned by their faith, he replied that this breaks his heart, and he tries to explain “what is not said” by the Church – which I take to mean attempting to clear up misunderstandings about Church teaching. But then, he offered the important suggestion that God is asking us to be a prophetic voice in the Catholic community.
Speaking on issues regarding the Catholic Church and the LGBT community, DeGiovine said that, “The Catholic Church does not teach that because you are gay, you are going to hell. It teaches that, similar to the Muslim tradition, that you have a particular state in life from which you are being invited to live…a very sacrificial life in this world, and that is to refrain from sexual behavior. The difficulty then becomes ‘How does one society continue in that difficult distinction: that you are respected but invited to live a very difficult life?’ Unfortunately, the culture has not allowed even the most conservative Christian tradition to speak that kind of acceptance and tolerance and compassion of the LGBT community; to tell them that they are beloved of God.”
In regards to violence and hate crimes against the LGBT community, DeGiovine said, “I think it’s very important that members of the interfaith community speak out against violence against any human being.”
When asked what he would say to someone from the LGBT community who feels abandoned by their faith, DeGiovine said that, “This has happened many times and it always breaks my heart. I try to explain what it is that is not said by the Catholic tradition to this person, but at the end of the day, if the distinction between the physical and the spiritual expression of love is not satisfactory, I would say to them that there is also the possibility that God is asking you to be a prophet in the Catholic community.”
Just what it means to be a prophetic voice is not quite so clear, and nor is it easy. At the minimum, I would suggest it implies honesty in our lives, and that includes our lives as Catholics, in church. Coming out is a process, and coming out in church needs to be negotiated gradually, cautiously. I have been fortunate in never having experienced any hostility or difficulty in any of the parishes where I have been – but still, every time I find myself in a new parish community, I find it difficult to begin the process. Others have been less fortunate. So, start slowly. Here are some suggestions.
- If you have a partner, attend Mass together. In itself, this is unremarkable and will not cause any comment. If you do so regularly, others will have time to get used to you gradually.
- Participate in the parish community. Stay for tea after Mass (if there is one), and make small talk with a few friendly faces.
- Contribute your help – collect hymn books, offer to read, help to make and serve the tea, join the choir.
- Be cautious in the beginning, but avoid hiding behind direct untruths. It is better to leave some things unsaid, than to invent fictions about your life.
- Slowly identify a few people with whom you feel comfortable. Without being too explicit initially, start to drop in hints. Then, be guided by their response. (In my current parish, this was easy. I explained my frequent absences, by talking about my commitment twice a month to the “Soho Masses for gay and lesbian Catholics”).
- Where the opportunity appears, join discussion groups. Especially where these take place in a small group, over an extended period, this can be a useful opportunity to share in confidence.
- When you are ready, confide in your parish priest. (If he is openly hostile – find another parish. He doesn’t deserve your support).
- As you become comfortable with the people in your particular faith community, you should find yourself growing in trust and confidence – and able to speak freely on matters of sexuality, and your experience of the failings in CDF doctrine – becoming yourself a true prophetic voice.
Related articles
- What is a gay Catholic to do? A Question Comes Out of the Closet
- 25 Years of LGBT Ministry in LA Diocese
- DIY Catholicism: The Prophetic Voice of the American Catholic Council
- Catholic Petition on DOMA, Gay Marriage.
- Theology From Below: Catholic Conference on Sexual Diversity.
- Growing Catholic Acceptance Of Gay Relationships, LGBT Equality
- Robert McClory on Slavery, Faithful Dissent, and Elephants in Living Rooms (Bilgrimage)
- A Catholic Bishop With A GLBT Message Of A Different Sort. (Enlightened Catholicism)
